PROCESSING LOSS.

As someone said: “Recovery from trauma unfolds in its own time; it doesn’t look to the clock or calendar for direction”

It can be said that grief is a measure of the affection we had and still have for those that have gone before us.

We all know that loss is a part of life, but that doesn’t make it any easier.  For some grief can feel like it’s never ending.  Where and who do we turn to for the healing of our broken hearts?

I lost my brother – suddenly and unexpected.  I saw him the night before, spoke to him and the next morning he was found dead next to his bed.  He died of a heart attack.  My mother died a year later of a broken heart.  My brother was her first born and at the age of 81, (when parents expect to die before their children), my mom could no longer cope with his loss.  She stopped eating and eventually her internal organs shut down and she passed on.

I remember growing up, praying every night for God to protect my parents so that I would not become an orphan.  To have any family member pass on or to experience a loss of that kind, was something I could not imagine or wanted to imagine, as a child.  I was convinced that I would never get through something like that.

My day arrived when I lost 2 family members within a year from one another.  How did I deal with this?  For me an important part of the healing process was to throw myself into scripture.  The Bible has plenty of meaningful verses to comfort those who grieve.  It’s a way of making sense of a tragedy/loss and ultimately it helps us to heal.

Psalm 73:26. “My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

2 Corinthians 4:17-18  “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So, we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal.”

Psalm 147:3. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

I can go on and on with scriptures that minister peace and healing while going through the grieving process.

I started going for long walks and would cry, pray and quote scripture.  I knew that God was hearing the cries of my heart.  I knew talking to God on my long walks, was my true safe place and that God was holding me in the palm of His hand.  Comforting me and healing my broken heart.  Answering all my questions.  I longed for those long walks talking to my heavenly father.  No-one knows or understands me better.  I am His daughter and I’ll never be alone as God says:  “I will never leave nor forsake you”.

This is also when community plays such an important role.  I felt “carried” by the prayers of our church family and friends all over the world.   I had a peace that even I couldn’t believe I had.  I knew it was the prayers of my friends and family.

Nothing else comforts as the scriptures:  Revelation 21:4. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain for the old order of things has passed away”.