Who would have thought that in December 1994, 29 years ago, we began the greatest adventure of our lives, and it is still going on as intrepid as ever, and we do love to adventure. Like everyone else, we got married with all sorts of expectations and very little understanding of the realities of becoming one in marriage. Here is one example; becoming one did not mean that we became the same and agreed on everything, on the contrary, our differences were good, but only became a strength when we were willing to surrender them to each other  instead of imposing them on the other person.

After a slightly rocky first six months, we discovered a shared passion for adventure. We packed up all our stuff, built up an old 1960 Land Rover, and headed North through Africa until our money ran out. It took 10 months and we turned around just South of Ethiopia, but what a year it was and God ordained for us because He established a foundation in us that we have built on ever since. The uncertainty of what may lie ahead in marriage was so much like this trip, but we learned that as long as we were united in agreement, as long as we prayed together and listened to the leading Holy Spirit, we experienced His favour and protection in everything that we did. We developed a friendship, intimacy, and trust with one another, and with God which has helped us navigate life without fear of the future. The whole of heaven is backing up your marriage.

When you go on a vacation, it is short-term and becomes all about the destination and just how comfortable you are there. Adventuring is more long-term and requires a lot more commitment and planning for the trip itself and less about where you are not yet. It can be hard work because you are always making decisions and being intentional with what you are doing. It is vital to pack luggage that will benefit you when you adventure and not baggage. Baggage is that “stuff” that you take along with you that is of no benefit to your trip; like packing arctic snow gear when you go to a tropical beach. The baggage that we carry into our relationships is all the things that love is not; Impatience, unkindness, hardness, intolerance, hopelessness, mistrust, insisting on your own way, and pride. Read 1 Corinthians 13 and you will get the idea. There is no place for these heart attitudes in the adventure of marriage.

Marriage is such a profound establishment that it is impossible to go into it and not be deeply changed by it. Our definition of success is growing and learning as individuals and as a couple, and God in His wisdom uses marriage to grow us and mould us into the fullness of who He wants us to be. Like nothing else, marriage will expose areas in your life that need to be addressed and if you are willing enough to go there and deal with “your stuff” that God is highlighting, submit them to each other, and grow through them, you will experience amazing freedom in your marriage and the way that you interact with the world around you.

Your marriage is unique, so don’t compare. Allow the word of God to be your map and the Holy Spirit to guide you into the greatest lifelong adventure of becoming one.